How to Lose weight without Losing Your Cabeza. By Victor Lomeli

Losing weight can sometimes make you feel like you have lost your mind, In Los Angeles being 5 pounds overweight can be deadly to your dating pool, unless of course you like to date bear or cholos. I don’t mean to sound superficial or vain but It’s the game that we play here in LA, if we hated color and being skinny we’d live in the East Bay or Frisco.

So here are the step that worked for me: Legal Disclaimer, Always consult a doctor before starting any type of exercise or diet. This is simply my way of staying fit and battling the bulging lonja.

1. Stay calm. The minute you discover that your boyfriend, client or the skinny guy at intelligentsia stares at your “lonja” (latino for muffin top) channel Cristiano Ronaldo with a side of Tyra and Smeye.

2.  Skip the bagel and all other noshy tonterias.  It’s no bueno to load up on bagels and bread.  Trust me skipping the bagels or tortillas for a week you will lose the pounds with minimal effort.  Just keep telling yourself “nothing tastes as good as fit feels” keep saying that or if you prefer “me aguanto, me aguanto me aguanto”.

3. Run dont walk.  You’re going to up the cardio the thing to always  remember the further  you run the faster you arrive at your once girlish figure.  I like to use Nike+. This will track your distance, calories burned.

4.  Shut your pie hole. When you see the pie graphs on the Nike+ app you will be motivated to count your calories, the key to losing the loja is simple math, Burn more than you intake for this I like LOSEIT.  Simple Tracking of the calories.

5.  Open your big mouth. Tell everyone you know what your goal is,all your Facebook, Twitter, Yelp, Foursquare, Words With Friends friends the guy  Intelligentsia, your boyfriend everyone.  People will want to see you fail and this should motivate you more.  Studies have shown when you are accountable for weightloss you will tend to lose more, Its why the gorditas (fat girls) go to Jenny, They’re held accountable for everything that goes into their bodies.

6.  Clean out the tubes.  Fiber, I specially like Colon Cleanse  take it daily follow the manufactures directions and as always have a little chat with your doctor.

7.  Prepare Gear. You have everything you need to start a work out right now, however someone once said to me “if you have 9 hours to chop down a tree spend 7 hours sharpening your axe.”  The more comfy are the more you will enjoy.

  • charged ipod
  • head phones
  • head band
  • water bottle
  • swagger

Do some fance footwork.

8.  Track Suite.  Your track suite is where you wake up every  morning here you will keep track of it all, Your Nike+, loseit and Facebook, Twitter Updates.  Post pictures, share your run.

What exercises are you doing?

I want to know your progress keep me on the update. Hasta luego mis gorditos.

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